Trước mắt là người trước mắt, trước mắt cũng là tháng năm.
(In front of my eyes was that person, in front of my eyes were also all those years)
– Bất Vấn Tam Cửu
Young loves failed. And most often first loves failed as well. But if we were lucky enough, we got over the pain of those failed loves and grew. We learnt about what we wanted and not wanted in a relationship. We learnt what we deserved and what we could achieve. All the things we learnt about ourselves being and getting out of a relationship were lessons we took with us for life. But not just that…
Years from then, when the wounds were all healed and we wouldn’t suffer from the intense aches anymore, we hope we would all be able to find peace and nostalgia. No more pain, no more heartaches, no more wondering why we let ourselves be treated that way, no more thinking we should have not gotten ourselves into those relationship. We would just think about those failed loves as fragments of our youth. Being able to love was a precious thing about being young, in age and in soul. Rarely any other times in our lives could we feel our hearts being so full like when we fell for our first loves. The warmth that your body felt simply by laying next to your ex-lovers. We were so young back then. We were so foolish, but so free. We were so unwise, but so brave.
Don’t think of our ex-lovers as the people who broke our hearts. Think about them as the pins that marked parts of our past, of who we were then. All those nights pulling allnighters studying with our ex-lovers right by our side doing the same thing. That was when our bodies had enough energy to stay up and our minds had enough purpose to keep going. All those times going to bars drinking with our ex-lovers. That was when we could wear anything we wanted because we felt confident, loved and beautiful. All those walks hand in hand with our ex-lovers when Spring came. That was when our lives were not overly busy yet and we loved life dearly then.
We were naive and unmarked by the tragedies of life. That was probably why we fell for the wrong people. But didn’t we love who we were then? Our young, hopeful, energetic selves? Didn’t you love you?
Next time, you saw an ex on the street or skim through their social media, think of yourself during that person’s time. You were marvelous. You loved and you gave with all you had. Didn’t you love you?