Love alone shouldn’t be enough

Photo by Andrew Neel on

I opened the door and Drew stood there with a black eye. He didn’t call before and and had nothing else with him but the clothes on his back.

“Did you at least take the train here?” I asked.

“No.. I forgot my wallet so kind of had to walk,” Drew answered as if walking two miles here wasn’t a big deal.

“Drew…” I dreaded

“Can I come in?” Drew didn’t wait for me to say anything else.

I shook my head while opening the door for him.

Drew walked in and threw himself on my couch. I came over and sat down on one end of the couch. I reached over to his knees and rubbed on them a little, like how others comforted each other by rubbing the other person’s back.

Drew smiled weakly, “You should see the other guy.”

“But I don’t care about the other guy. I only care about you.” I sighed.

I didn’t say anything else, and Drew said nothing either. He curled himself even smaller on the couch. He already knew what I was going to say.

“Drew, this is not healthy. I don’t think you should stay with..”

“I can’t. I love him, ” he cut me off, “I never loved anyone like that and probably never find another one like him. I can’t leave.”

“I don’t think so,” I sighed, “I also don’t think you should find another one like him either.” I stood up from the couch.

I brought out a blanker for him and made him a cup of hot tea. I told him to go to sleep. He needed some rest. We never discussed what happened right after it happened.

Ding dong…Ding dong…

My alarm for work didn’t even ring yet but there was already a door bell ringing. I mumbled to myself, “Every damn time,” while dragging myself to open the door. Drew had already been awake and sat up properly on the couch. He watched me opened the door.

“Hi, good morning. I’m sorry for bothering you so early in the morning,” Colin stood there with his button up shirt ironed crisply and his salt and pepper hair combed neatly to one side, “I’m here to pick up Drew.”

“Yes, of course.” I opened the door wider while still standing there blocking between him and the inside.

I turned my head to look at Drew who looked like he has been ready since who knew when, “Are you ready Drew?”

“Yeah,” he walked towards the door and hugged me on his way out, “Thanks for last night.”

“Text me if you need anything ok?” I hugged back.

I opened the door and Drew stood there drenched liked a wet rat. I could imagine he ran all the way over here in the cold winter rain. I pulled him in the apartment while yelling at him “Are you an idiot?”

I rushed to grab a towel for him.

“I did take the train here, ” he yelled after me, “just wanted to take a short walk to clear my head.”

“Yeah, and how did that go?” I threw the towel over his head.

“I’m done,” his whole face was covered under the towel when he muttered out those words, “I’m done with him.”

“For real? Are you serious?” I tried to hide the content in my voice.

Drew nodded.

I brought him a change of clothes and a hot cup of tea. When I brought him the blanket, I told him he could stay here for as long as he wanted. He was always welcomed. He nodded his head and said he might take me up on that.

The next morning, there was that door bell ringing first thing in the morning. Colin stood there, greeted me politely like usual and said he was here to pick Drew up.

I turned to look at Drew. I didn’t need to say anything for him to know who was behind the door. Drew, again, already looked like he had been awake for forever and was ready to go for a long time.

“Are you sure?” I grabbed his arm a little while whispering to him. “Drew, you always can…”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” He hugged me. “Thanks for last night,” and walked away with Colin.

I rushed over to the window to watch them. Colin held Drew in his arm and they walked together under a blue umbrella in the morning cold winter rain. The condensation fogged up my window. The image of them under that dark rainy sky was getting further and blurry. I felt so helpless.

This post is a response to the Go Dog Go Cafe’s Tuesday Prompt.


Honey, when I thought of you

Photo by Karolina Grabowska on

Every time i thought of you, I thought of daffodils. It’s a beautiful flower and it’s my favorite. It’s soft and delicate but never fragile. It needs only a moderate amount of fertilizer, moist and sun to survive. It’s one of the easiest to grow. Though, it thrives better with more sun, more fertilizer, and more moisture. With the right conditions, it will just keep growing and thriving. Experts are not sure the typical lifespan of a daffodil since it can just keep on living. And that’s you. You are that perfect resistant, persistent medium. You are not that white little flower growing out from the rocks of the freezing mountains. Nor are you the delicate tulip that is gorgeous but so hard to grow. You are normally glowing, bright and accessible. You are not that pretentious beauty. You are the warm smile that is ready to be there.

Every time I thought of you, I thought of black coffee. Not the cold brew fancy type, just the simple, warm, very good drip black coffee. You are there not to make things fancy or pretend to be something or someone you are not. You are there to offer your truest self: warm and comforting. Black coffee is not he most popular coffee choice in the world, but we all know that it’s the purest form and the coolest choice. And that’s you. Your sincerity is what I’ll always remember. The warm, pure, sincere feelings you bring melt my soul and break my heart. It breaks my heart to know you bare your soul for someone and they can hurt you. Because, we all know that black coffee is also bitter. Not everything is easy for you. Sometimes when it’s warm and pure, it’s harder to swallow. I guess that’s why people always sugar coat their coffee.

Every time I thought of you I thought of little storms. You are not a storm. I’m talking about the ones inside you, and I know they are there. Just because they are not hurricanes, doesn’t mean they are not there. You don’t have to pretend they are not there because they are, and I believe you and I can see them too. Pains are pains regardless of how big or small. Honey, if the little storms hurt then they do. You don’t have to explain yourself to others who don’t understand or don’t want to. Try to clear your own storms, take care of yourself. Put yourself first. It will take a while to love yourself, but it’s that way for all of us. So don’t be discouraged because it takes time. You will learn to love yourself. After a storm, there’s always rainbow.

Every time I thought of you, I thought of so many things, so many things. You are many things in this world and can be even more. Forgive yourself for all things the past and be kind to you in the future. My dear daffodil. My little cup of coffee. I always think of you.